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The Confessions Thread

Discussion in 'Hangout' started by PatchyBoy, May 2, 2013.

  1. Cinju

    Cinju Esperto

    Messages:
    1,333
    Trivandrum
    Sorry no offense meant to any bikers here, but most of the bikers feel that they escape unhurt in most of the situations because of their smartness where as the fact is that they are left unhurt because of the mercy of many car drivers like us. These fellows squeeze their bikes even in the smallest gap & wanted us to take care by not hitting them. They do not understand the danger they are posing to others. I really appreciate your patience & respect you had shown to other road users Shams & I would not blame you in such a situation. After all we are human beings & I think most of us would react the same way as you did.
    4 people like this.
  2. PatchyBoy

    PatchyBoy Esperto

    Messages:
    2,438
    Bangalore
    Off late, I have found myself in the midst of a few controversies, mud-slinging matches and what not. Some of my posts were deleted, some edited and some threads were locked. So, yesterday I sat back a bit and did some introspection.

    By nature, I am an out-spoken, straight forward person. I have no reservations sharing what I know - this has been amply demonstrated in my DIY threads. At the same time, I have no reservations sharing what I feel about something as well - also amply demonstrated in many of my posts. While the first is received with applause, the second seems to be received with a lot of criticism and a lot of brick bats.

    I was quite active in T-BHP, am still a member there, but out of my own will - decided to stop participating in that forum, for the very simple reason that I found the forum has become too restrictive for my liking. I mean if I cannot share my new car first impressions without going through a review process, I will end up writing what someone wants me to say and not what I want to say.

    Then I found this forum and the openness of this forum was a refreshing change. But it appears that a lot has changed in this forum over the past few months. Light hearted banter is taken offensively. A request for source of information is perceived as a challenge. A negative review of a popular outlet is taken as a threat to one's own business.

    There are a few members who post in other forums too and it is saddening to see them take the disagreement to a new level by crying on other forum about some of the comments posted here. A restrictive mind is the single biggest obstacle to learning. Think about it. What brings all of us here? Most of us do not know most others on this forum personally. But we still extend help, share knowledge, share contacts and try to help each other. But when we indulge in taking personal digs at someone we do not like for whatever reason, aren't we reducing ourselves to a bunch of unruly kids? Whatever happened to maintaining some kind of decorum in the forum? What if I disagree with your POV, or you disagree with my POV? How does it make any difference to our actual personality? I mean, is it really worth crying foul all over the place, because a person whom you do no know, disagrees with your review of a business, which you do not own?

    I am very fond of pulled pork. But that not automatically make every other person that does not eat pork a moron, does it? I believe in doing most things myself. That does not mean that people who do not do anything themselves lazy, does it? People make choices, based on their outlook and based on their personal preferences. The choices we make are what defines us as individuals. We can agree to disagree and move on, or continue squabbling like a unruly bunch of children. That is a choice we make.

    Why am I posting all of this here? A very simple reason - I would like to apologize to everyone that I might have upset, annoyed, irritated in the past with some of my brand of dry humour. Please do remember, I am not apologizing, because I think I was wrong. I am apologizing because I value the relationship more than my own ego.

    So, friends, I am sorry. A probable outcome of this soul searching exercise would mean less activity from me on this forum, but such is the way of life. I will restrict myself to posting only in my areas of interest and try not to criticize anyone. I will try not to post any negative feedback about any business. After all one visit to that establishment and I am sure each member here is mature enough to make their own decision about quality of services offered for themselves and decide if they want to continue going back there.

    Thanks for having me here all these days. I will continue to hang around, albeit in the background.

    Once again, I am sorry.

    Cheers,

    Rajan
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2013
    14 people like this.
  3. raj29

    raj29 Superiore

    Rajan, am really sorry and sad to read this post from you. I haven't gone through the posts or am not completely aware of the details that resulted in you taking this decision.
    As you have wrote in your post every one has a personal opinion and it should be left at there and not take things to personal comments/criticism.

    Its an open forum and we will see similar scenarios every where. I would request you not to completely go to background and keep doing what you do for yourself.

    Hoping to see no major changes on your forum activity except for restricting on responding to the threads/people that resulted in your current thought just to keep yourselves at peace.
    1 person likes this.
  4. SunnyBoi

    SunnyBoi Amatore

    It is very disheartening to read this particular confession, Rajan. Hwever, I feel the same and hence I don't participate in technical discussions over certain forums or even share feedback just because there aren't mature people who can take feedback in the right spirit. Its best to restrict to group of like minded folks who can really appreciate the level of detail one finds and the importance of findings.

    Nope, this never works.
    2 people like this.
  5. DRIV3R

    DRIV3R Esperto

    Rajan, totally understand that and agree with all of your points.

    I myself was shocked to see few happenings, and more so when I saw some member crying in another popular forum making a mention of some review of an outlet here.

    Atleast for the love for Fiat, you should try giving one more chance. I look at it that way. :)
    1 person likes this.
  6. Rajan, I too faced similar brickbats about after market airfilters thread,i thought of quiting the forum but decided that i will present the facts and leave it upto individual to make decision.
    I have been called names what reflects in my signature, i am happy some one gave me those titles otherwise i wouldn't have been some thing,huh....
    2 people like this.
  7. zenwalker

    zenwalker Esperto

    Messages:
    2,150
    Bangalore
    @Rajan,

    Very well written. Nicely said. :)

    Sir, if you do not mind i would like to draw some derivations/theory out of the words you just spoke. No i will not try to correct you or say you are right or wrong and in no way meant to offend you or any body in person. Who am i to judge that? Neither i do have experience in any way as you do. So ill leave that aside.

    Often me to go into this mode of self analyzing about my actions. So on many incidents i was able to bring out theories like below. Feel free to correct me or whatever. Ill quote your words "To each his own".

    1. Each individual is different and has his/her own mindset and frequency of thinking. One can not think like the other person and the same vice versa.
    2. Its like treating our kids (nah i dun have any :p), if for every thing a child or young person/boy/kid asks a questions. How would it look if one reply "You are a fool to ask such question" or "Get lost, go search" but rather "No dear, see go there and youll find the info you need" or "Do this way and youll get what u want". There is a difference in delivering things. This is the sole reason todays kids shun in asking questions either in skool/college/else where.
    3. Often we (i myself) many times know what to deliver but fail "How to deliver". Trust me sir, i do not have good experience as most of you have, but i have observed alot of this. Yes i am a keen observer among the crowd. So after an incident if it went wrong, i analyze and notice this that i failed to deliver it properly. I feel bad about what i did yet if possible ill apologize to that person.
    4. A mistake is done by every one. No body is super genius. But we do gather crowd to share but not to make mockery out of each person about his/her actions. to one that action looks stupid but to other its not. A possiblity of an honest mistake or a deliberate one. But at the end of the day, we all have to push each other forward to reach a good destination than pull them to the ground and stamping ahead.
    5. We forget to correct ourselves first but instead point the fingers at others and start ridiculing them.
    6. Many a times i have observed that the more you start tinkering it, the more the layer peels off and its gets corrupted. So the best method i always try to implent is "chodo yaar: its ok" attitude. Trust me for some this attitude is hated, but they often dont realize that digging more there will just lead you problems. Just like a griding. The more harder you grind, there is more heat due to wear and tear and then it might breaks and stuffs.
    7. The most important of all is Having good knowledge either by experience or by reading, and this tool is like power but power do comes wth responsiblities i.e Attitude/behavior. If one shows a lot of bad behavior or unwelcoming attitude but has a good knowledge, that knowledge bag no body values and its mearly worthless to possess it. You can see in our older days, there were scientists and real talented people like vishwesharaya, vivekananda, ambedkar, abdul kalam, Tesla, Einstein, etc. who carried their responsiblities so well such that today their knowledge is valued as priceless.

    Note:

    I have not taken any incident happened in this forum as a reference to draw the theory above nor pointing at ny single person. The above theory is my understanding of the people around me (at work, home, friends, forums, chats, etc.) think and the various incidents that happens.
    1 person likes this.
  8. zenwalker

    zenwalker Esperto

    Messages:
    2,150
    Bangalore
    Guys,

    I would also like to link one more thing to this thread. Since this is more of about one's mindset, and gelling together. Kindly all of you watch this movie if you are interested:


    I have watched this movie for like 5 times so far. I am a huge fan. I love this. No time it did bored.

    Here are my learnings/take away:

    1. Never immediately judge a person. First impression Can be wrong.
    2. Step back and analyze than just shunning away
    3. Be calm, careful
    4. Patience is huge boon in a long run.
    5. Take care and Convince than carelessly jump and fight.
    6. No matter any where in this world, your team will have such remaining 11 people with you.
    and more but thats just for another day ;)


    @Mods,
    No, in no way this is OT for this thread. Though its a youtube link, kindly please retain in this thread as the reason are said above.
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2013
    3 people like this.
  9. limraj

    limraj Superiore

    Messages:
    914
    Trivandrum
    Linea 1.3
    Rajan,

    Sad to see a person like you with 6lakh kms experience in driving, restricting yourself in this forum.
    You may have your own reasons. But, I, like many, hope you will become active again, sooner than later.
    2 people like this.
  10. bins

    bins Amatore

    Messages:
    75
    Bangalore
    I want a dislike button to dislike this. :p


    Last edited: Sep 19, 2013

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