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The Confessions Thread

Discussion in 'Hangout' started by PatchyBoy, May 2, 2013.

  1. PatchyBoy

    PatchyBoy Esperto

    Messages:
    2,438
    Bangalore
    In our day-to-day life, we all make decisions at every step of the way. Some of these decisions have a habit of haunting us for a while.

    They make us think - "Did I do the right thing? Maybe I should not have done what I did". Starting this thread so we can share our experiences and thoughts here. It might help us feel better and also help us understand how others would have reacted in the same situation. Hopefully it will result in all of us becoming better human beings.

    Here is my experience from today morning.

    Barely 3 kms from home, I need to drive on a stretch of service lane, before I join Old Madras road. On this stretch, the biker ahead of me, pulled over and stopped to the left edge. The guy sitting in the pillion got off the bike and abruptly started crossing the road. As I had just passed one speed bump and another one was coming up within the next 100 mtrs, I was barely doing 20 kmph. I honked and braked and was able to stop with a good 4-5 mtrs gap between the pillion rider / road crosser and my car. The guy stopped in his tracks and stepped back. So, I started moving, when I heard this crash from behind. A poor two wheeler rider had also braked hard to avoid hitting me, skidded in the loose soil on the road and crashed. He did not crash into my car.

    I had a 9:00 AM meeting with a team from Sweden and could not afford to be late. The time then was 8:10 AM and it usually takes me 30 to 40 mins to get into work. Since I did not crash into anyone and no one crashed into me, I just kept going and reached work in time for the meeting with 10 minutes to spare. But, ever since then, the thought that I should have stopped and checked on the two wheeler rider and offered to take him to a hospital if needed is haunting me. All through the meeting, the thought that I was selfish and irresponsible, never left my mind.

    Now that the meeting is finished, here I am posting this. The thought that I will never know if the two wheeler rider picked himself up and rode away or was hurt in some manner is quite unnerving. What do you guys think? Should I have stopped to help?

    Rajan
    Last edited: May 2, 2013
    5 people like this.
  2. Cinju

    Cinju Esperto

    Messages:
    1,333
    Trivandrum
    Rajan that's a kind of feeling which I am sure everyone here might have gone through. But as long as the place was not isolated & you didn't feel that the guy might have got hurt really badly I won't blame you. It is not that you dont have a humanitarian consideration, else you would not have written it here . Sometimes there are situations where we have to take such tough decisions. As the situation was totally unavoidable you did so.
    Last edited: May 2, 2013
    1 person likes this.
  3. gurjinder

    gurjinder Staff Member Janitor

    Messages:
    3,989
    Punjab
    Hindsight has 20/20 vision and it is really easy to comment on how a person X could've handed an incident differently than he/she actually did. So i wouldn't want to comment on how you could've handled the situation in a manner different than you actually did.

    But it isn't clear either whether the bike was too fast for it's own good or whether you stopped
    too abruptly in the middle of the road ( kindly dont take it as a judgement on your driving). Mishaps just happen. We don't intend them. We've all been in mishaps at one point or another.

    You had the courage to put this up so good on your part to do so. We all hope the biker didn't recieve any injuries.
    4 people like this.
  4. jayadev

    jayadev Esperto

    Messages:
    1,057
    Kannur, India
    Kannur
    Grande Punto 1.3 90 HP
    One biker hit me .Poor chap, his new bike.
    I paid his medicine and for the damages spending Rs.1300.Now I feel, How stupid I am !!
    I wonder if I will repeat such idiocy in future.
    Darn!
    Last edited: May 3, 2013
  5. Surya

    Surya Superiore

    Messages:
    930
    Namma Bengaluru
    It happened once that i was going in a bike with my sister near domlur junction near the bus stand i stopped for the signal and waited for a moment an old person around 60 years came close to me he was wearing neat cloths and had a bag of vegetables in his hand he told i have lost my way don't have money can you help me by the time i could say something the signal went green and everyone started moving my sister insisted to move on as we had to hurry for some work, half minded i left from there and drove but it was running in my mind all the day i couldn't remove that persons face from my mind he was like my father what if my father was there in his place .. i kept thinking what happened to that guy whether he reached home safely or not, i couldn't stop myself and went there in my bike to check if he's still there but he was not there.. may be some body helped him.
    1 person likes this.
  6. PatchyBoy

    PatchyBoy Esperto

    Messages:
    2,438
    Bangalore
    One more confession. A good one this time.

    I was driving home and was on KR Puram hanging bridge, following another BNW Linea Emotion. I was actually feeling sorry for the car, as it was poorly maintained, when the car slammed the brakes and so did I. Then I saw this guy in a two wheeler sprawled on the road. The other Linea took off, but I pulled over and stopped.

    By the time I went over, others had already helped the fallen biker to his feet, taken him to the roadside and lifted his bike and put it on the roadside as well. Then I found out what had happened and was outraged. There was another biker riding with his helmet balanced on his fuel tank, which jerked and fell off on the road. The auto rickshaw that was following swerved to avoid the helmet and hit this biker, who was thrown off his bike.

    I offered to take the biker to an hospital, though I was neither at fault nor involved in what had happened. The biker insisted that he was OK. So, I spent another 5 minutes there, just to make sure the biker was OK. Then I left on the insistence of the biker. Sadly, the only people who stopped to help the poor guy were the other rider whose helmet fell off and myself. I gave the other biker a piece of my mind ( I am sure there will be no effect).

    All in all, I felt good and left with my belief "Humanity has to be experienced to be understood" reinforced :D

    Rajan
    9 people like this.
  7. cannonera

    cannonera Amatore

    Messages:
    67
    Bangalore
    This happened to me last Saturday. Me & my wife were in our Punto waiting at Barbeque Nation signal, after the flyover.
    As the Traffic Police signalled us to move, a sudden dug-dug-dug sound alerted me to my left side. My wife gave a loud scream. Just realised then, that my Punto was hit from our left side by a LPG cylinder carrying Eicher truck. The railing had hit the Left Mirror Repeatedly, hence the sound.
    As all in accidents, it happened in a flash and took me few moments to come to terms. My wife then alerted me to go behind the Lorry driver. I put on the Parking Lights and ran till the bus stop nearby and argued with the driver to stop.
    Now, this driver was feighning ignorance as to what had happened and told me he didn't sight me or his clutch gave way and other stuff... But I insisted him to stop and get down. Next, a traffic policeman came and starred to asses the situation!
    Now this driver offered me Rs. 500 for the damage, I by then had called KHT and enquired the cost, determined to get the full amount.
    So, now the driver came down to the actual buisness of compromise... saying it was an accident that can happen to anyone, he was new to driving and so on... The amount now became Rs.750. Then they started to deal through the cop, but I stood firm saying no matter how long I am staying here and collect in full for the damage.
    Now his deal was hovering at Rs.1500. This is where it turned Emotional! Yes.
    This driver, started to cry and told me he was planning to take the amount for his ailing parents.
    So here I am having been involved in my first accident and claiming for the damages late into the night and when the amount was finally there to be taken, I felt a pinch.
    What else would we have done after listening to him, I told him I can't take the money and went my way.
    This episode was talked at home and there was a murmur that the driver may be faking... But all I thought of was this....
    A Clear Conscience is the Lightest Pillow!

    --- Hari
    5 people like this.
  8. shams

    shams Esperto

    Messages:
    2,388
    Bangalore
    Couple of incidents from my side, both of which happened few months back:

    1. There is this flyover, barely a km from my house(indian oil flyover in maruti seva nagar, for those who know). Its strictly two laned and has slow moving traffic most of the times. It has couple of one way branches on either side right in the middle for traffic to get down and undivided for most of its part. many times traffic police is there on the flyover to avoid people entering on the wrong sides but whenever police is not there it becomes a mess. bikers take a U turn to get to the wrong side.

    one day when i was on my way to office, right in the middle of the flyover, a honda city in front of me braked hard suddenly to avoid a biker who took a u turn in front of him. I also braked to avoid hitting it. i managed to stop in time as we do most of the times in such situations thanks to the strong brakes of our Fiats. There were few bikers behind me who had to hit their brakes hard to avoid hitting me. couple of them managed to stop without hitting but one biker hit me with a loud bang right in the middle of my puntos rear bumper.

    I got down from the flyover quickly and parked my car on the side, got out quickly checked the bumper and stopped the biker who was coming from behind. He stopped. On removing his helmet, i noticed that he was an old man.
    Now with this kind of an impact many times there is no visible damage at the point of impact but the bumper gets bent slightly on both sides at the place where it meets the rear fender. This is exactly what the damage was in this case. i tried to explain the same thing to him but in vain. he told that there is no damage at the point where i hit so its ok. i managed to convince him that damage is there but then he started telling that he is a retired serviceman, he lives on his pension and right now his wife is in hospital and he was going there. he said he doesn't have any money to pay now. he told me to take his number and call later. he said he will pay when his salary comes.

    On listening to all this i said ok fine and just drove away.. never called him!!

    2. This was at a signal near to my office in whitefield where i was right in front just next to the divider. After I stopped, a biker on royal enfield thunderbird came and stopped next to me on my right. when the signal opened i was going straight but this biker next to me suddenly swerved left. I heard some tak tak tak sound but could not make out what broke. I rolled the window down and indicated him to stop after the signal. I stopped after the signal and checked the damage. the biker also stopped behind me. i found that there were few scratches on the front bumper and the front right wheelcap broke and fell off. i told him that leave the scratches you just pay for the wheelcap which costs 390. He said sorry but he doesn't have money now, salary hasn't come when it comes he will pay and bla bla. he took my number and told he will call in the evening. he used to work in an IT firm not far from my office. since he was talking in a pleading manner I said ok and left from there.

    To my surprise he called me in the evening and told that he is waiting outside my office. i went and met him where he said sorry again and paid for the damage. we had tea at roadside and chatted for a good 10 minutes about our work etc. I told him I also have the same bike. told him to ride more responsibly. Left from there feeling good in the end.
    4 people like this.
  9. anoop

    anoop Superiore

    It is not really a confession, but the way I reacted to an incident few weeks back.

    I was riding from home to office after my lunch – time was around 2 and the traffic was very less. There was a car some distance in front of me and I saw him breaking on the middle of the road, with space for another car to pass on his left side.
    Since there was enough distance and I was slow, I changed to left lane and after few seconds, kirrr bham and I felt sudden pain on my left leg – a guy was coming behind me on an active (a souped up old active with loud exhaust) and when he saw I changing lanes, he did not break, but tried to squeeze past me at high speed but lost his balance and came and hit my leg. There was more than enough space between me and the left side of the road (there was a knee high side walk on the left side) – space enough for an auto to pass. I am sure if he was a little slow, he could have easily overtaken me.

    After the hit, we both stopped and he started arguing why I came to left side. I was very patient and tried to explain that there was more than enough space on the left while there was another vehicle coming in the right side lane, coming towards us. Since the damage was only for me (a bruise on my leg), I said let us go our way since there is no point in arguing. He was a local guy (one of those typical (gunda\tapori like) local guys who rides rash and does stunts on the road) and I think he took me for a soft target when I did not argue back and was ready to leave – he suddenly changed his tone and he said I have to pay for his damages (he was showing some very old scratches and dents on the activa).

    I said there is no way I am going to pay and tried to start my bike. By seeing this, he grabbed me and tried to push the bike down and pull me off from the bike – that is when I lost my cool. I gave him one tight slap on his face and told him I am not going to pay anything. The moment I gave him the slap, he took his hands off me and his whole manner changed – he became very submissive and let me go without another word.

    Now, I know this was a rare case and usually, my act would have resulted in worsening the situation. Luckily, I managed to escape without any trouble. I am not glad or proud of the fact that I let emotion take control of me – hope in future if something like this repeats, I will be more careful \ responsible.

    That was very nice of him and I am sure you both would have felt better at the end of the day :)
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2013
    1 person likes this.
  10. shams

    shams Esperto

    Messages:
    2,388
    Bangalore
    on my way to office in whitefield, there is this graphite india signal which i guess is one of the worst signals in bangalore. it takes a good 10 minutes to cross it more often than not.

    today while i was at this signal with cars crawling at snails pace, one biker was trying to poke his way from my left when i was on the extreme left of the road. when traffic moved from stop then i just stopped and let him go ahead. i then started moving straight slowly. this biker now comes to my right and the traffic stops again. now he starts poking from right while i moved a bit straight. a part of his shoe came under my punto's front right tyre and before i could say sorry, even though it was not my mistake, he started abusing me using all kinds of filthy words. i was driving with window glass rolled down here. on listening to all this crap i shouted at him in twice the volume that he was using and abused him back more than he had done. after this the traffic moved and he dissappeared somewhere.

    sad part is as per him i didn't know how to drive the car when i was going straight and he was poking in my way :)!

    remembering it now i don't feel what i did was right but what else can be done in such situations when it becomes difficult to control anger.
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2013
    1 person likes this.

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