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Humor Thread :)

Discussion in 'Hangout' started by ramjn, Apr 27, 2012.

  1. Surya

    Surya Superiore

    Messages:
    930
    Namma Bengaluru
    The appraisal !

    Big Boss: This year your performance was good, excellent and outstanding. So, your rating is "average".
    Kumar: What? How come 'average'?
    Big Boss: Because...err...uhh...you lack domain knowledge.
    Kumar: But last year you said I am a domain expert and you put me in this project as a domain consultant.
    Big Boss: Oh is it? Well, in that case, I think your domain knowledge has eroded this year.
    Kumar: What???
    Big Boss: Yes, I didn't see you sharing knowledge on Purchasing domain.
    Kumar: Why would I? Because I am not in Purchasing, I am in Manufacturing.
    Big Boss: This is what I don't like about you. You give excuse for everything.
    Kumar: Huh? *Confused*
    Big Boss: Next, you need to improve your communication skills.
    Kumar: Like what? I am the one who trained the team on "Business Communication", you sat in the audience and took notes, you remember?
    Big Boss: Oh is it? Errr...well..I mean, you need to improve your Social Pragmatic Affirmative Communication.
    Kumar: Huh? What the hell is that? *Confused*
    Big Boss: See! That's why you need to learn about it.
    Kumar: *head spinning*
    Big Boss: Next, you need to sharpen your recruiting skills. All the guys you recruited left within 2 months.
    Kumar: Well, not my mistake. You told them you will sit beside them and review their code, and most resigned the next day itself. Couple of them even attempted suicide.
    Big Boss:*stunned* (recovers from shock) Err...anyway, I tried to give you a better rating, but our Normalization process gave you only 'average'.
    Kumar: Last year that process gave me 'excellent'. This year just 'average'? Why is this process pushing me up and down every year?
    Big Boss: That's a complicated process. You don't want to hear.
    Kumar: I'll try to understand. Go ahead.
    Big Boss: Well, we gather in a large room, write down the names of sub-ordinates in bits of paper, and throw them up in the air. Whichever lands on the floor gets 'average',
    whichever lands on table gets 'good', whichever we manage to catch gets 'excellent' and whichever gets stuck to ceiling gets 'outstanding'.
    Kumar: (eyes popping out) What? Ridiculous! So who gets 'poor' rating?
    Big Boss: Those are the ones we forget to write down.
    Kumar: What the hell! And how can paper bits stick to ceiling for 'outstanding'?
    Big Boss: Oh no, now you have started questioning our 20 year old organizational process!
    Kumar: *faints*
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2012
    7 people like this.
  2. Surya

    Surya Superiore

    Messages:
    930
    Namma Bengaluru
    Old post.. but still
    cow.jpg
    5 people like this.
  3. Surya

    Surya Superiore

    Messages:
    930
    Namma Bengaluru
    Kids think quick

    Kids think quick


    TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America .
    MARIA : Here it is!
    TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
    CLASS : Maria!
    ___________________________________________________________


    TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
    FRANK : Because of the sign.
    TEACHER : What sign?
    FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
    ___________________________________________________________


    TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
    JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
    ___________________________________________________________


    TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
    GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
    TEACHER : No, that's wrong
    GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
    ___________________________________________________________


    TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
    DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
    TEACHER : What are you talking about?
    DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
    __________________________________________________________


    TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
    WINNIE : Me!
    ___________________________________________________________


    TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
    GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
    ___________________________________________________________

    TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
    MILLIE : I is...
    TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
    MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
    ___________________________________________________________


    TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
    TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
    ___________________________________________________________


    TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry
    tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father
    didn't punish him?"
    LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.
    ___________________________________________________________


    TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
    SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
    ___________________________________________________________


    TEACHER : Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
    your brother's. Did you copy his?
    CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!;
    __________________________________________________________


    TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
    people are no longer interested?
    HAROLD : A teacher.
    9 people like this.
  4. shams

    shams Esperto

    Messages:
    2,388
    Bangalore
    spotted this near KR puram railway station on friday! not sure if this is the right thread to post but i coudn't stop smiling after seeing it:

    2012-11-03 14.34.28.jpg

    2012-11-03 14.35.06.jpg
    8 people like this.
  5. ramjn

    ramjn Staff Member Janitor

    Messages:
    5,243
    Chennai
    Linea 1.3
    After seeing the first picture, I didn't understand anything and was thinking what's there to laugh. But, after the second, I fell down. :D

    I am taking this picture to the definitive auto forum if you don't mind. :)
  6. prakhar_lfc

    prakhar_lfc Superiore

    Messages:
    607
    Bhubaneswar, Odisha, India
    Bhubaneswar, Odisha, India
    Linea T-Jet
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2012
  7. ramjn

    ramjn Staff Member Janitor

    Messages:
    5,243
    Chennai
    Linea 1.3
  8. prakhar_lfc

    prakhar_lfc Superiore

    Messages:
    607
    Bhubaneswar, Odisha, India
    Bhubaneswar, Odisha, India
    Linea T-Jet
    The reach of T-BHP in the "Indian automotive scene".
  9. shams

    shams Esperto

    Messages:
    2,388
    Bangalore
    haha... take it wherever you want to.. i won't mind one bit :):)
  10. sungoa2010

    sungoa2010

    Messages:
    2,878
    Goa
    In the literal meaning it is more suited there than on cars. They are the actual people who run the truck to live(for their bread and butter).
    When we say it is a exaggeration, out of this world(like sham's comment on my complements:D)
    2 people like this.

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