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Humor Thread :)

Discussion in 'Hangout' started by ramjn, Apr 27, 2012.

  1. good one...:up
    3 people like this.
  2. BoseSuman

    BoseSuman Superiore

    Messages:
    760
    Midnapur (W.B) & Hyderabad (A.P) India.
    Linea 1.3
    Can be called as RANDEEP. Randeep Hooda will answer if any question asked to RANDEEP (RANBIR- DEEPIKA).. ;).
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2012
    1 person likes this.
  3. saharsh

    saharsh Regolare

    Messages:
    318
    Noida
    Some FB Status updates from animals and insects:

    Cockroach: "Managed to skip from someone’s foot step. Man, I lead a dangerous lifestyle!"

    Cat: "My 7th child is asking who is her dad. What shall I tell her? I don’t even remember"

    Pig: "Oh Gosh! They throw the gossips that I am spreading FLU!! "

    Goat: "Friends, don’t go out, Eid is coming soon."

    Dog: "If I am not on the streets tomorrow then I am being served at road side stall under the Mutton tag."

    Chicken: "If tomorrow there's no status update from my side, means I'm being served at KFC. Love you all ♥"
    5 people like this.
  4. saharsh

    saharsh Regolare

    Messages:
    318
    Noida
    A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
    Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"
    God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

    Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!

    Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

    While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.


    Arriving in front of God, she demanded,
    "I thought you said I had another 43 years.
    Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"


    (You'll love this)

    God replied:



    "I didn't recognize you!"
    6 people like this.
  5. saharsh

    saharsh Regolare

    Messages:
    318
    Noida
    Amazing New Drugs For Men Created By WOMEN Scientists:

    1. ANIVERSIA: Triggers Memories of Birthdays & Anniversaries,

    2. SLIMOXIL: Widens Male CORNIA Making WIVES Appear Slim,

    3. SPORTOBLIND X: Reacts With Poptic Nerve To Prevent Men From Recognizing The Word "SPORTS" On TV.,

    4. WORKOCETAMOL: Generates an Insatiable Desire in Men To Do Household Chores,

    5. SHOPHOFOBEX: Makes Men Eager To Take Wives For Shopping Every Week And Wait Patiently, &

    6. FLIRTONATE-N: It reduces Vision Whenever A Pretty Girl Passes By!
    2 people like this.
  6. Toruk_Macto

    Toruk_Macto Amatore

    Messages:
    205
    Ghatkopar-Mumbai
    Why did Shahrukh Khan committed suicide in the movie "Devdas"?
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    What the hell a person can do when two beautiful ladies are dancing around him and singing "Dildo la Dildo la re Dildo la" :lol
    6 people like this.
  7. naveen2cool

    naveen2cool Superiore

    Messages:
    646
    Chennai


    heyyyyy... thats 'A' man :D
  8. ramjn

    ramjn Staff Member Janitor

    Messages:
    5,243
    Chennai
    Linea 1.3
    I never take risk while drinking
    When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking
    I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen
    I stealthily enter the house
    Take out the bottle from my black cupboard
    Shivaji Maharaj is looking at me from the photo frame
    But still no one is aware of it
    Becoz I never take a risk

    I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink
    Quickly enjoy one peg
    Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack
    Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard
    Shivaji Maharaj is giving a smile
    I peep into the kitchen
    Wife is cutting potatoes
    No one is aware of what I did
    Becoz I never take a risk

    I: Any news on chopra's daughter's marriage
    Wife: Nope, she doesn't seem to be that lucky. Still they are looking out for her
    I again come out; there is a small noise of the black cupboard
    But I don't make any sound while taking out the bottle
    I take out the glass from the old rack above sink
    Quickly enjoy one peg
    Wash the bottle and keep it in the sink
    Also keep the Black Glass in the cupboard
    But still no one is aware of what I did
    Becoz I never take a risk

    I: But still I think chopra's daughter's age is not that much
    Wife: What are you saying? She is 28 yrs old... like an aged horse
    I: (I forgot her age is 28) Oh Oh...
    I again take out potatoes out from my black cupboard
    But the cupboard's place has automatically changed
    I take out the bottle from the rack and quickly enjoy one peg in the sink
    Shivaji Maharaj laughs loudly
    I keep the rack in the potatoes & wash Shivaji Maharaj's photo & keep it in the black cupboard
    Wife is keeping the sink on the stove
    But still no one is aware of what I did
    Becoz I never take a risk

    I: (getting angry) you call Mr. chopra a horse? If you say that again, I will cut your tongue...!
    Wife: Don't just blabber something, go out and sit quietly...
    I take out the bottle from the potatoes
    Go in the black cupboard and enjoy a peg
    Wash the sink and keep it over the rack
    Wife is giving a smile
    Shivaji Maharaj is still cooking
    But still no one is aware of what I did
    Becoz I never take a risk

    I: (laughing) So chopra is marrying a horse!!
    Wife: Hey go and sprinkle some water on your face...
    I again go to the kitchen, and quietly sit on the rack
    Stove is also on the rack
    There is a small noise of bottles from the room outside
    I peep and see that wife is enjoying a peg in the sink
    But none of the horses are aware of what I did
    Becoz Shivaji Maharaj never takes a risk
    chopra is still cooking
    And I am looking at my wife from the photo and laughing
    Becoz I never take........what???__,_._,___
    6 people like this.
  9. linealover

    linealover Regolare

    Messages:
    334
    Madras
  10. Surya

    Surya Superiore

    Messages:
    930
    Namma Bengaluru
    Onsite Experience!

    In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more
    than 1 kg meat a day.

    The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager
    visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US
    Zoo.

    The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment,
    a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also.

    On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed
    very nicely for breakfast.

    The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few
    bananas.

    Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they
    were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.

    The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same
    food bag of bananas was delivered.

    The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him,
    'Don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with
    your

    management?, what nonsense is this?, why are you delivering bananas to
    me?'

    The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the
    jungle but .. did you know that you have been brought here on a monkey's
    visa!!!

    ---------- Post added at 05:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:33 PM ----------

    DEAN was speaking to the students regarding rules of the college:

    " If any of the guys enter the gals' hostel Rs.100 fine for the first time

    Rs.200 fine for the 2nd time

    Rs.500 fine for the 3rd time."

    Itne me Munnabhai ne poocha

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    "Bole to.. Monthly Pass ka kitna lagega Mamu?
    4 people like this.

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