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Humor Thread :)

Discussion in 'Hangout' started by ramjn, Apr 27, 2012.

  1. sungoa2010

    sungoa2010

    Messages:
    2,878
    Goa
    If you think Ms. Sangeetha will always aid you, you are wrong. She can cause some trouble in your life.

    She aided me till Hubli correctly and I made her angry by twisting my way near hubli by pass. She was shouting and I stopped the car to cam her down. I opened the window for fresh air. She was still shouting and recalculating to prove that she is correct. I told her that I am alone and please keep quite. She still started recalculating. By this time I say a shadow out side. it was a police constable. He started peeping in to the car as if I am a kidnaper. I had removed the sun control film and he could clearly see that there is no one other than me in the car. Then he saw the garmin screen and the angry snageetha's voice was coming from it. He then again peeped in to it as if I am watching some Bollywood movie.I stopped the navigation to make sangeetha quite. I asked him "Is this the way to go to Banglore?" . He replied "take left turn and go straaaaaaight"

    Another incident was near krishnagiri where she asked me to suicide. She didn't tell that I have to take the left road for chennai she made me take the salem road and on the top of the bridge asked me to jump." I told her " If you want you jump. I am not kamal in punnagai mannan. I need to live with my better half" She was angry and started recalculating. This time I didn't swich off her but followed what she said and took a U turn and then followed her.Lessor is some time don't argue with females, just follow them:D
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2012
    7 people like this.
  2. J Ravi

    J Ravi Esperto

    Messages:
    2,293
    Bangalore
    By sheer coincidence, Sangeetha is the name given for the lady speaking Indian English in MMI navigator. Another coincidence: all Sangeethas are like that in misguiding us when we were least prepared for that.:)
    1 person likes this.
  3. gurjinder

    gurjinder Staff Member Janitor

    Messages:
    3,989
    Punjab
    In the UK, there is a stereotype about Scottish people that they are cheap. This joke pays tribute to that stereotype. :D

    -x-x-x-
    An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery,
    but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his
    blood in case the need arises.



    As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally,
    so, the call went out.


    Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type.
    The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.


    After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman as appreciation for
    giving his blood, a new BMW, diamonds & US dollars.


    A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a
    corrective surgery.


    His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy
    to donate his blood again.


    After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you
    card and a box of Quality Street chocolates.


    The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind
    gesture as he had anticipated.


    He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be generous
    again, that you would give me a BMW, diamonds & money,
    but you only gave me a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street."


    To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie,
    but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins".
    7 people like this.
  4. BoseSuman

    BoseSuman Superiore

    Messages:
    760
    Midnapur (W.B) & Hyderabad (A.P) India.
    Linea 1.3
    Got it from Facebook:-

    Bengali:-
    Ek Paagol general store e giye bollo Kola aache?
    Dokandar bollo:- Na.
    Paagol chole gelo.
    abar 10 minute pore elo aar jiggesh korlo:- Kola aache?
    Dokandar bollo:- Na. Ekhane Kola nei. Eta Kolar Dokan noi.
    Paagol aabar chole gelo.
    5 min pore aabar phire elo aar jiggesh korlo:- Kola aache?
    Dokandar bollo:- Na. Toke etobar bollam je Kola nei, ekhane Kola paoa jai na. Jodi aabar aasis tahole Haturi diye petabo.

    Pagol ta aabar ki bhablo aar chole gelo.

    aabar 5 min pore ese jiggesh korlo:- Haturi aache?
    Dokandar bollo:- Haturi o nei, ja ekhan theke.
    Paagol aabar bollo:- ohh tahole kola aache?

    Translation:- ( posted in Bengali first to maintain humor).

    One Paagal (mad man) went to a Kirana store and asked:- is banana available here?
    Shopkeeper told:- No.

    Paagal left store and returned after 10 minutes and again asked to shopkeeper:- is banana available here?
    Shopkeeper replied:- No banana is not available; it is a different shop.

    Paagal again left store and returned after 5 minutes and again asked to shopkeeper:- is banana available here?
    Shopkeeper got irritated and told:- I told you na this is not banana shop. Banana isn't available here. If you come again I will beat you with Hammer.

    Paagal left the shop with little thought.
    After 5 minutes he returned again and shopkeeper got really angry. Paagal asked him:- is Hammer available?
    Shopkeeper got surprized and gently told no Hammer is not available here.
    Then Paagal asked :- Ohh!!!!!!!!!!!! is banana available then?
    6 people like this.
  5. saharsh

    saharsh Regolare

    Messages:
    318
    Noida
    Batman.jpg
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    image011.jpg
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    sunny11.jpg


    source:team-bhp
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2012
    4 people like this.
  6. BoseSuman

    BoseSuman Superiore

    Messages:
    760
    Midnapur (W.B) & Hyderabad (A.P) India.
    Linea 1.3
    Another One posted in facebook:- :D

    Wikipedia:- I Know everything.
    Youtube:- I telecast all facts in movie format.
    Facebook:- I have all VIP's Information.
    Google:- All of you are handicapped without me.
    Internet:- But, all of you can't appear without me.
    Computer/Mobile:- Except us all of you are useless.
    Electricity:- Abe saale awaaj neeche.. ( Every one just keep quite)
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 25, 2012
    5 people like this.
  7. saharsh

    saharsh Regolare

    Messages:
    318
    Noida
    Once Rajnikanth sent a non-veg joke to a seedhi-saadhi girl, Today that girl is known as Sunny Leone!
    1 person likes this.
  8. sungoa2010

    sungoa2010

    Messages:
    2,878
    Goa
    A panjabi sardar and Bangali Babu had a debate about the patriotic history about their respective states in freedom struggle. As the debate progressed they ended up in a method to calculate the number of persons involved from their state. Each person had to pull one hair from opponent's hair and say one name.Each of them began with enthusiasm. "Bhagat Singh" said the Sardar and pulled one hair from the Bengali."Netaji" said the Bengali and did the same. The bangali was clever and started saying imaginary name and pulled hair from sardar's head. Sardar was already exhausted with the names of the freedom fighters from his memory. He thought for a moment and jumped on Bangali's head and pulled all his hair and shouted "JallianWala Bagh".
    3 people like this.
  9. saharsh

    saharsh Regolare

    Messages:
    318
    Noida
    There was an old lady in the lift. One girl enters the lift and proudly says "Armani - Rs 5,000 / bottle". From another floor, one more girl also enters the lift and she also boasts of her perfume "BOSS - Rs 6,000/ bottle.

    All of a sudden the lift stops between the floors and there a sound comes "Poooo". Both the girls covers their nose and look at the old lady. The old lady says "Mooliyan 15 rupaye killo (Radish just rs 15/kg)"
    4 people like this.
  10. saharsh

    saharsh Regolare

    Messages:
    318
    Noida
    Statement of the Day: “mummy ko ane do, sabko dekh lunga…..”
    ..
    ..
    ..
    ..
    - Rahul Gandhi
    1 person likes this.

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