1. Introducing the smashing new Team FIAT T-Shirt !! To order yours click here : Team FIAT T-Shirt

Humor Thread :)

Discussion in 'Hangout' started by ramjn, Apr 27, 2012.

  1. saharsh

    saharsh Regolare

    Messages:
    318
    Noida
    482891_425096304253255_291476048_n.jpg

    ***************************************************************************

    Santa: Agar nariyal ke ped pe chad jaun to..
    engineering college ki ladkiyan dikh jayegi
    Banta: Pir hath chod dena,
    to medical college ki bhi dikh jayegi.


    **********************************************************************
    Photoshopped Bachchan Family:

    Bachhan Family Photoshopped.jpg


    1 person likes this.
  2. saharsh

    saharsh Regolare

    Messages:
    318
    Noida
    God:" What do you want ??

    Boy:" A very beautiful girl..

    God:" If you are muslim, I'll give you "Katrina".

    If you are hindu, I'll give you "Kareena"
    .
    If you are sikh, I'll give you "Anushka" and

    if you are christian, I'll give you "Genelia"
    .
    .
    What's your name ??

    Boy:" Abdul Vijay Singh Fernandes..

    .
    God to his angel: "Mayawati" de saale ko, jyada smart ban raha hai... :p :O :D :D
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Himmatwala'Special:

    - Breaking News:
    US attacks North Korea by dropping Himmatwala Dvd's.

    - In India, 1st April to be renamed as'Himmatwala Day'.

    - Sanjay Dutt decided to go Jail than watching Himmatwala.

    - Lashkar-E-Tayba -owns responsibility of Himmatwala.

    - Sajid Khan to receive National Award for'WTF Film'category.

    - Rajanikant went to Coma after watching Himmatwala.

    - Best scene in Himmatwala:
    "The Interval".

    - Income Tax department to raid audience who watched Himmatwala.

    - Sonia Gandhi decides to go back to Italy after watching Himmatwala.

    - Kajol claimed Divorce after watching Himmatwala

    - Ques.: If Sajid Khan; Farah Khan&Sirish Kunder fall off a tall building, who will survive....??

    Ans.: INDIAN CINEMA =D :p ;) X_X

    - BREAKING NEWS !!
    Rahul Gandhi to visit the victims of Himmatwala soon.

    - Apocalypse is when you accidentally go to watch Himmatwala and the'Jumping Japang'ad is played during the interval !

    - Reportedly Rajnikanth went to Coma and Sir Ravindra Jadeja lost his memory after watching Himmatwala.

    - Virat Kohli has blocked Tamannah after watching Himmatwala!!

    - North Korea is entering in a state of war against South Korea. I suggest them to drop DVD's of Drona, Tees Maar Khan, Joker and Himmatwala on each other. Instant Death!

    - Not the actor, but each person coming out of the hall after watching the movie, should be called'Himmatwala'!

    - Farah Khan challenged Sajid Khan to make something worse than the IPL ads. Sajid Khan made Himmatwala.

    - Just came across a song from Himmatwala"maar de bum pe laat". So what are we all waiting for? Let's head towards Sajid Khan's house.

    - After I saw Himaatwala, i felt like doing Ajay Devgan's'Apharan'and then pour some'Gangajaal'on him and finally hand him over to'Singham'

    - If Ajay Devgan continues to act in movies like Himmatwala, days are not far when his neighbors'kids will confuse him with'Rikshawala'.

    - Two minutes of silence for those who have advanced booked Himmatwala tickets.

    - Sad Story :
    Hum 4 friend Himmatwala dekhne gaye the aaj par wapas 3 hi aaye :(
    .
    .
    Ek Friend Coma me chala gaya movie dekhte dekhte :'(

    - The tiger who acted in Sajid Khan's Himmatwala ...is now considering leaving Bollywood and going back to the Zoo..
    His career is Ruined....!!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    A couple in train

    GIRL: My head is paining
    .
    Boy kissed her head,
    .
    GIRL: My neck is paining
    .
    Boy kissed her neck.
    .
    OLD Man:
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Beta loose motion ka bhi ilaaj
    karte ho? :p :D
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    This is how a Professor explained Marketing Concepts to a class:

    1. You see a Gorgeous Girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!"
    - That's Direct Marketing.

    2. You are at a party with a bunch of friends and see a Gorgeous Girl. One of your friends goes upto her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich.Marry him!"
    - That's Advertising.

    3. You are at a party and see a Gorgeous Girl. She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can I marry you?"
    - That's Brand Recognition.

    4. You see a Gorgeous Girl at a party. You go upto her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
    - That's Customer Feedback.

    5. You see a Gorgeous Girl at a party. You go upto her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband.
    - That's Demand and Supply Gap.

    6. You see a Gorgeous Girl at a party. You go upto her and before you say: "I m rich, Marry me!", your wife arrives.
    - That's Restriction for Entering New Markets.

    I hope Concepts are clear...

    Class is adjourned.
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2013
    6 people like this.
  3. prakhar_lfc

    prakhar_lfc Superiore

    Messages:
    607
    Bhubaneswar, Odisha, India
    Bhubaneswar, Odisha, India
    Linea T-Jet
    Another way of using K&N filters.

    uploadfromtaptalk1365685329046.jpg

    Shared by a friend, who was looking for a pen stand and found this ingenious solution.

    Sent from my MZ601 using Tapatalk 2
    2 people like this.
  4. jayadev

    jayadev Esperto

    Messages:
    1,057
    Kannur, India
    Kannur
    Grande Punto 1.3 90 HP
    You dont buy Fiat with your mind,you buy it with your heart and Ba*ls.
    2 people like this.
  5. zenwalker

    zenwalker Esperto

    Messages:
    2,150
    Bangalore
    lol i get the connection of FIAT with the last word you used. Very nice :p With power, u need ***** to handle it :D
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2013
  6. How did Ashes(cricket) series started?

    In 1882, Sir Ravindra Jadeja smoked a cigar and since then England and Australia are playing for Ashes!!

    End Note: Looking at the way how he won the match for CSK against RCB in the on going for IPL, for sure he's giving Rajini sir a run for the money :p
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2013
    1 person likes this.
  7. varunrtr

    varunrtr Esperto

    Messages:
    1,256
    KL-01/ TO
    Grande Punto 1.3
    this made my day ...found in fb !!
    HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES????[/COLOR]
    These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word or word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

    ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
    WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
    ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
    WITNESS: My name is Susan!
    _______________________________
    ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
    ____________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
    WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
    ____________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
    WITNESS: July 18th.
    ATTORNEY: What year?
    WITNESS: Every year.
    _____________________________________
    ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
    WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
    ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
    WITNESS: Forty-five years.
    _________________________________
    ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    WITNESS: I forget..
    ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
    ___________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
    WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
    ____________________________________

    ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
    WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
    ___________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
    WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
    _________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
    WITNESS: Getting laid
    ____________________________________________

    ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
    WITNESS: None.
    ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
    WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
    ____________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
    WITNESS: By death..
    ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
    WITNESS: Take a guess.
    ___________________________________________

    ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
    WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
    ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
    WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
    _____________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
    WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
    ______________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
    _________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
    WITNESS: Oral...
    _________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
    ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
    WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
    ____________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
    WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

    ______________________________________
    And last:

    ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
    WITNESS: No..
    ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
    WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
    4 people like this.
  8. saroshmk

    saroshmk

    Messages:
    53
    Hyderabad
    Wanna Break for Snakes!?

    Spotted this place on a recent drive. The offerings were intriguing, and I took the bait -- anything goes, when you're hungry!

    Break for Snakes Enroute.jpg
    2 people like this.
  9. prakhar_lfc

    prakhar_lfc Superiore

    Messages:
    607
    Bhubaneswar, Odisha, India
    Bhubaneswar, Odisha, India
    Linea T-Jet
    On one hand, the board says that the dhaba serves pure veg food, but on the other hand, it says "snakes" are also on the menu. How ironic! :p

    Sent from my MZ601 using Tapatalk 2
    Last edited: May 2, 2013
  10. fiatlover

    fiatlover Esperto

    Messages:
    1,599
    Bangalore/Kasargod
    Bangalore
    Grande Punto 1.4
    They must be vegetarian snakes :D

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