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Humor Thread :)

Discussion in 'Hangout' started by ramjn, Apr 27, 2012.

  1. PatchyBoy

    PatchyBoy Esperto

    Messages:
    2,438
    Bangalore
    ^^ Sorry, but this seems in very bad taste to me.

    Rajan
  2. Surya

    Surya Superiore

    Messages:
    930
    Namma Bengaluru
    I have to get selected this time at any cost ..

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    4 people like this.
  3. Surya

    Surya Superiore

    Messages:
    930
    Namma Bengaluru
    Ghajani - The Engineer
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    Tere paas kya hai
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    Jack Daniels
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    Last edited: Nov 28, 2012
    6 people like this.
  4. mightymaveryk

    mightymaveryk Regolare

    Messages:
    341
    Bangalore
    Grande Punto 1.3
    Jack Daniels was literally awesome. So we are stronger than Americans in this case... LOL
  5. Aanand

    Aanand Amatore

    Messages:
    195
    Pune
    Paraprosdokian
    “Where there’s a will, I want to be in it,” is a type of paraprosdokian.
    Ok, so now enjoy other such paraprosdokians.!

    1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

    2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.

    3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.

    5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

    6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left

    7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

    8. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

    9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

    10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

    11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

    12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’

    13. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

    14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

    15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

    16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

    17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

    18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

    19. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

    20. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

    21. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.

    22. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

    23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

    24. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

    25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

    26. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

    27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip

    28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

    29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
    4 people like this.
  6. KayGeeFIAT

    KayGeeFIAT

    Messages:
    65
    Chennai
    CHANGE




    There's an old sea story about a ship's Captain
    who inspected his sailors, and afterward told
    the first mate that his men smelled bad.


    The Captain suggested perhaps it would
    help if the sailors would change underwear
    occasionally.
    The first mate responded, "Aye, aye sir,
    I'll see to it immediately!"

    The first mate went straight to the sailors
    berth deck and announced, "The Captain
    thinks you guys smell bad and wants you
    to change your underwear."

    He continued,
    "Pittman, you change with Jones,
    McCarthy, you change with Witkowski,
    and
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    Brown, you change with Schultz."


    THE MORAL OF THE STORY:
    Someone may come along and promise
    "Change",
    but don't count on things smelling any better.
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2012
    1 person likes this.
  7. varunrtr

    varunrtr Esperto

    Messages:
    1,256
    KL-01/ TO
    Grande Punto 1.3
    Mod's Note: Ensure the decorum of the forum. This is a Humour thread but one needs to be sensitive to the decorum.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 4, 2012
    3 people like this.
  8. ramjn

    ramjn Staff Member Janitor

    Messages:
    5,243
    Chennai
    Linea 1.3
    Posting in this thread after a long time. :)

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    2 people like this.
  9. sungoa2010

    sungoa2010

    Messages:
    2,878
    Goa
    A conversation that I had with a visitor from Pune. he was mentioning about his friends car

    He : My friend's car has a strange problem
    Sun: What?
    He: It got hit by buffalo three times.
    Sun: Three times?
    He : That looks strange to me also. Once he was passing one and it turn and hit on his car which gave a dent on the door. He took the car to service station and the service station guys got shocked to hear this. Then next was when he stopped the car and went to a near by medical shop by that time buffalo gave another dent. Third time was when his family was in the car and he was out side and it hit the car on rear.
    Sun : Did he claim insurance
    He : First time. After that he paid from his pocket. Who on this earth is going to believe the story
    Sun : OMG
    He : Last time My car hit on the rear bumper of his car because of a bull
    Sun : Because of bull?
    He : We were driving in our cars and he applied sudden brake. I asked him why the sudden brake. He pointed his finger towards the side of the door and a buffalo was standing there
    Sun :Which was the car
    He : Red Swift
    Sun : :evilsmile
    1 person likes this.
  10. ROFL:evilsmile:lol
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    Life is a cycle..!!
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    ROFL..:evilsmile
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    Last edited: Dec 4, 2012
    1 person likes this.

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