Discussion in 'Hangout' started by ramjn, Apr 27, 2012.
^^ Sorry, but this seems in very bad taste to me.
I have to get selected this time at any cost ..
Ghajani - The Engineer
Tere paas kya hai
Jack Daniels was literally awesome. So we are stronger than Americans in this case... LOL
“Where there’s a will, I want to be in it,” is a type of paraprosdokian.
Ok, so now enjoy other such paraprosdokians.!
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’
13. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
19. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
20. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
21. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
22. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
24. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
26. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip
28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
There's an old sea story about a ship's Captain
who inspected his sailors, and afterward told
the first mate that his men smelled bad.
The Captain suggested perhaps it would
help if the sailors would change underwear
The first mate responded, "Aye, aye sir,
I'll see to it immediately!"
The first mate went straight to the sailors
berth deck and announced, "The Captain
thinks you guys smell bad and wants you
to change your underwear."
"Pittman, you change with Jones,
McCarthy, you change with Witkowski,
Brown, you change with Schultz."
THE MORAL OF THE STORY:
Someone may come along and promise
but don't count on things smelling any better.
Mod's Note: Ensure the decorum of the forum. This is a Humour thread but one needs to be sensitive to the decorum.
Posting in this thread after a long time.
A conversation that I had with a visitor from Pune. he was mentioning about his friends car
He : My friend's car has a strange problem
He: It got hit by buffalo three times.
Sun: Three times?
He : That looks strange to me also. Once he was passing one and it turn and hit on his car which gave a dent on the door. He took the car to service station and the service station guys got shocked to hear this. Then next was when he stopped the car and went to a near by medical shop by that time buffalo gave another dent. Third time was when his family was in the car and he was out side and it hit the car on rear.
Sun : Did he claim insurance
He : First time. After that he paid from his pocket. Who on this earth is going to believe the story
Sun : OMG
He : Last time My car hit on the rear bumper of his car because of a bull
Sun : Because of bull?
He : We were driving in our cars and he applied sudden brake. I asked him why the sudden brake. He pointed his finger towards the side of the door and a buffalo was standing there
Sun :Which was the car
He : Red Swift
Sun : :evilsmile
Life is a cycle..!!
Separate names with a comma.