Discussion in 'Hangout' started by NAREN64, Jul 13, 2010.
Imagine the teacher who would have been checking this . He/She would be like :shocked
Girls like Red Punto
:twisted: :evilsmile ::V :boxer :lol:
Re: Girls like Red Punto
Ha ha ha . Thats a good one :evilsmile
Gud said :clap :evilsmile :evilsmile :car :lol:
The latest wagon for de volks! :evilsmile
If launched here, even this will have an unreasonable waiting period ::T
Definitely looks more beautiful than their contemporary offerings. :
Man "Haven't we met before?"
Woman "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
Man "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man "Is this seat empty?"
Woman "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man "Your place or mine?"
Woman "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman "It's in the phone book."
Man "But I don't know your name."
Woman "That's in the phone book too."
Man "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman "I'm a female impersonator."
Man "What sign were you born under?"
Woman "No Parking."
Man "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman "Do not Enter"
Man "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
Man "I know how to please a woman."
Woman "Then please leave me alone."
Man "I want to give myself to you."
Woman "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man "I can tell that you want me."
Woman "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."
Man "Your body is like a temple."
Woman "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman "Yes, but would you stay there?"
An older couple had a son, who was still living with them.
The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his career path, so they decided to do a small test.
They took a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, hoping he would think they weren't at home.
The father told the mother, "If he takes the money, he will be a businessman; if he takes the Bible, he will be a priest; but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard."
So the parents took their place in the nearby closet and waited nervously, peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive home.
He saw the note they had left, saying they'd be home later.
Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it also. Finally, he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality, then he left for his room carrying all the three items.
The father slapped his forehead, and said, "Damn! It's even worse than I ever imagined..."
"What do you mean?" his wife inquired.
"He's gonna be a politician." the father replied.
The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day.
As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!
At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."
Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?"
The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"
Separate names with a comma.