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HUMOR - Ha hA Ha

Discussion in 'Hangout' started by NAREN64, Jul 13, 2010.

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  1. jumu

    jumu Superiore

    Messages:
    969
    Chennai
    An elderly couple are attending church services.

    About halfway through, she writes a note and hands it to her husband. It
    says, " I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"

    He scribbles back, " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."


    Abdul
  2. Can you cry under water?
    How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
    Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
    Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
    What disease did cured ham actually have?
    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
    Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
    If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
    Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
    Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
    Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway...
    Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
    If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
    If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
    Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
    If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
    Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
    Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
    Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? TRUE 100%

    Why? Why?? Why???

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
    Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
    Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
    Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
    If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
    Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
    Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
    Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
    Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
    Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
    How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
    When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'
    Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
    In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
    How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

    And my favourite.........

    The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends --- if they're okay, then it's you.
  3. Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days.
    A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Sarson Da Tel?" ( Mustard OIL)
    The clerk says "you a Sikh"
    The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something.
    If I had asked for Italian Olive Oil, would you ask me if I was Italian?
    Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
    Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
    Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?
    Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?
    The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't."
    The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Sarson Da Tel, why did you ask if I am a Sikh?"
    The clerk replied, "Because you're in a Liquor Store."
  4. :lol :lol

    [attachment=0:3rdkhkjk]167570_1818772112956_1349744775_2039483_7991841_n.jpg[/attachment:3rdkhkjk]

    167570_1818772112956_1349744775_2039483_7991841_n.jpg
  5. The dealer deserves a :hit :hit :hit
  6. I agree. ::T
  7. kr_vasudev

    kr_vasudev Superiore

    Messages:
    611
    Bangalore
    Just out of curiosity, should it be re-phrased as

    SIDE EFFECTS of working in Infosys ?
  8. The mail forward with the joke came to me with the title "side effects of working in Infosys" and was sent by an Infosian.
    I changed it not to hurt our fellow TFIians working in Infy.
  9. One must read this thread in one go.This is the best thread I have come across in the recent past. :D

    Here you go - Which car should i buy ?
  10. I had tears in my eyes because of laughing by the time I finished reading the whole thread. Very hilarious!!!!
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