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HUMOR - Ha hA Ha

Discussion in 'Hangout' started by NAREN64, Jul 13, 2010.

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  1. A Gujrati, a Madrasi and a sardaarji were doing construction work onscaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

    They were having lunch and Gujjuopened his lunch box & said, "Dhokla ! If I get dhokla one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

    The Madrasi opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Idli Sambhar again! If I get idli sambhar one more time I'm going to jump off too."

    The sardaarji opened his lunch and said, "Parontha again! If I get a parontha one more time, I'm jumping too."

    The next day, the Gujju opened his lunch box, saw dhokla, and jumped to his death.
    The Madrasi opened his lunch, saw idli sambhar, and jumped, too.
    The sardaarji opened his lunch, saw the parontha and jumped to his death as well.

    At the funeral, Gujju's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!"

    The Madrasi's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him dossa! I didn't realize he hated idli sambhar so much."

    Everyone turned and stared at the sardaarji's wife.

    The sardaarji's wife said,
    "Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch."
  2. Doctor to patient: jab car ek sardar chala raha tha to tumhe sadak se dur chalna chahiye tha...
    Patient: Kaisi sadak! Main to LOTA leke baitha tha...

    Pyar hua iqrar hua hai, pyar se phir kyo darta hai dil?????

    Kyon na dare dil....???
    Kyu k, aajkal k pyar se badhta hai sirf Mobile aur Restaurent ka bill...
  3. A couple planned to commit suicide together. But once the wife killed herself, he changed his mind as things suddenly looked more positive.


    Once upon a time girls used to cook like their mothers.
    But now they drink like their fathers.


    Wife :- Can u explain 2 me how did this lipstick got on ur collar ?
    Hus:- Nope I really cant. I distincly remember having removed my shirt off.
  4. fiatlover

    fiatlover Esperto

    Grande Punto 1.4
    An essay on Indian Cow

    HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed,
    And because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is
    got child.] He is sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got
    four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole
    body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4
    taps attached to his basement. [ horses dont have any such

    What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the
    condensed milk and so forth.Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans
    and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy
    species. Also his other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees,
    plants as well as for making flat cakes[like Pizza ] , in hand , and
    drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding
    after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are
    situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows
    in the grass. His only attacking and defending organ is the horns,
    specially so when he is got child.

    This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be
    paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with
    great velocity forwards.He has got tails also, situated in the
    backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end
    of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies.
  5. eyeguy


    thats a killer dude!
  6. eyeguy


    A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?”
    The man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex. “Oh I see,” replied the boys pensively. “Yes, I’ve heard of that in health class at school.”
    He looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks, “Why are there three in this package.”
    The dad replies, “Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.” “Cool!” says the boy. He notices a pack of six and asks “Then who are these for?”
    “Those are for college men.” the dad answers, “Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday.”
    “WOW!” exclaimed the boy. “Then who uses these?” he asks, picking up a 12-pack.
    With a sigh, the dad replied, “Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March…”
  7. Tony

    Tony Esperto

    Kalamboli, Navi Mumbai
    Grande Punto 1.2
  8. "My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
    There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister.
    My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was *** less.

    One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered
    to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.

    She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and commit my life to her sister.
    Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

    She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in
    shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
    When she reached the top she pulled off her ******* and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a
    beeline straight to the front door.

    I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

    Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

    With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, "we are very happy that you have passed our little test.....we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

    And the moral of this story is:
    Always keep your protection in your car........"
  9. Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy birthday!", and possibly have a present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy birthday". I thought... well, that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember. My kids ate breakfast and didn't say a word.

    So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Jane said, "Good morning boss, happy birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock and then Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go out to lunch, just you and me". I said, "Thanks Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. We dined instead at a little place with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

    On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's go to my apartment". After arriving at her apartment Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I'll be right back". "OK", I nervously replied.

    She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake... followed by my wife, kids, and dozens of my friends and coworkers, all singing "Happy Birthday". And I just sat there... On the couch...

  10. Overheard at the HR department :
    I want to withdraw my resignation,the company which hired me has hired my Boss too......
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