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Discussion in 'Hangout' started by NAREN64, Jul 13, 2010.

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  1. Tax in India!

    1) Ques.: What are you doing?
    Ans.: Business.

    Tax: PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX

    2) Ques.: What are you doing in Business?
    Ans.: Selling the Goods.

    Tax: PAY SALES TAX

    3) Ques.: From where are you getting Goods?
    Ans.: From other State/Abroad

    Tax: PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI

    4) Ques.: What are you getting in Selling Goods?
    Ans.: Profit.

    Tax: PAY INCOME TAX

    5) Ques.: How do you distribute profit?
    Ans.: By way of dividend

    Tax: PAY DIVIDEND DISTRIBUTION TAX

    6) Ques.: Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
    Ans.: Factory.

    Tax: PAY EXCISE DUTY

    7) Ques.: Do you have Staff?
    Ans.: Yes

    Tax: PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX

    8) Ques.: Doing business in Millions?
    Ans.: Yes

    Tax: PAY TURNOVER TAX

    Ans.: No

    Tax: Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax


    9) Ques.: Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
    Ans.: Yes, for Salary.

    Tax: PAY CASH HANDLING TAX

    10) Ques.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
    Ans.: Hotel

    Tax: PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX

    11) Ques.: Are you going Out of Station for Business?
    Ans.: Yes

    Tax: PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX

    12) Ques.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?
    Ans.: Yes

    Tax: PAY SERVICE TAX

    13) Ques.: How come you got such a Big Amount?
    Ans.: Gift on birthday.

    Tax: PAY GIFT TAX

    14) Ques.: Do you have any Wealth?
    Ans.: Yes

    Tax: PAY WEALTH TAX

    15) Ques.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
    Ans.: Cinema or Resort.

    Tax: PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX

    16) Ques.: Have you purchased House?
    Ans.: Yes

    Tax: PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE

    17) Ques.: How you Travel?
    Ans.: Bus

    Tax: PAY SURCHARGE

    18) Ques.: Any Additional Tax?
    Ans.: Yes

    Tax: PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT's TAX!!!

    19) Ques.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
    Ans.: Yes

    Tax: PAY INTEREST & PENALTY

    20) INDIAN: Can I die now??
    Ans.: No, wait we are about to launch the FUNERAL TAX
  2. Viny

    Viny Esperto

    Messages:
    1,742
    :)
    Deserves a standing Ovation :clapping :clapping :clap :clap
  3. PaddleShifter

    PaddleShifter Staff Member Janitor

    Messages:
    2,697
    Chandigarh
    Grande Punto 1.3
    Saw this on Facebook :)
    [attachment=0:qrd3bf5l]Untitled.jpg[/attachment:qrd3bf5l]

    Untitled.jpg
  4. Dilip_dmk

    Dilip_dmk Superiore

    Messages:
    649
    Delhi, India
    New Delhi
    Grande Punto 1.2
    ^^^^ wat did u do :::: click ???
  5. Bala

    Bala Esperto

    Messages:
    1,070
    Villupuram
    Nice thread,good job Binzi,keep it coming,Sardarji jokes were very hilarious
  6. Dilip_dmk

    Dilip_dmk Superiore

    Messages:
    649
    Delhi, India
    New Delhi
    Grande Punto 1.2
    [attachment=0:9fh0l66l]196634_191894800851059_100000916220163_485049_42979_n.jpg[/attachment:9fh0l66l]

    Disclaimer : ps not done by me .....


    Dilip
  7. PaddleShifter

    PaddleShifter Staff Member Janitor

    Messages:
    2,697
    Chandigarh
    Grande Punto 1.3
    Dilip, better to remove this post IMO. ::pP
  8. A Boy asks a girl in the market:
    I have lost my Galfrnd can u talk 2 me for a minute?
    Girl:- Why??????
    Boy:- coz wenever I talk to any girl my galfrnd finds me :)

    *************************************************************************

    Bhojpuri title of d Famous Films:-
    1) Titanic- Nauka Deyla Dhoka
    2) Anaconda- Aadmi Khayewala Saapwa
    3) Three Idiots- Teen Burbak
    4) Ghajini- Takla ka Badla
  9. Mary Clancy goes up to Father McGuire after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"

    She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

    The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"

    She says, "That he did, Father."

    The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? "

    She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun.' "
  10. At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

    The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

    "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?"

    The little boy nodded yes.

    "So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?"

    Again the little boy nodded.

    "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your mother."
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