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How our world ticks

Discussion in 'Hangout' started by drifter, Nov 27, 2010.

  1. drifter

    drifter Regolare

    Messages:
    310
    London/Mumbai
    SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

    COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

    FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

    NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

    BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away.

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell your herd and retire on the profit.

    SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

    AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

    FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

    JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

    GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

    SPANISH CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

    RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

    CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 30 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

    BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

    IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the s**t out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are a Democracy.

    WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.
  2. Indian corporation: You have two cows. You sell their milk and save money, until one is dead due to old age. Then you buy another cow with the money saved, the cycle repeats.
  3. Viny

    Viny Esperto

    Messages:
    1,742
    :)
    Indian Corporation: You have tow cows, you bribe and get false death certificate due to train accident, get money from railways/government, share 50% as bribe to various babus, go ahead and file for NREGA and get free 100 days pay, go home milk the cow, get 10liters of milk, add 20 liters of water sell it to Municipalty Milk Corporation, get a receipt for 50L deposit, share 10L amount as bribe to counter guy and enjoy the 40L milk amount. Move out partner with the milk transportation guy and buy the 50L milk at 50% price and now start your daily delivery of milk to all the houses and claim higher rates for fresh and direct to home services. Make money at every possible corner :)
  4. amolmane

    amolmane Guest

    Fiatians possess good knowledge of Political Science. :clap

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